Does Depression Define Me
My entire life I was told that I had depression, that I was bipolar, that I had a personality disorder, and that there was something wrong with me; I was told by my family and therapists, and eventually, I started believing them. Mental health is such a huge topic in media now, but it wasn't a huge topic when I was 13 and was admitted to the mental hospital for wanting to commit suicide and feeling alone. I always had the same questions cycling through my mind and I always had the feeling that I would never be good enough.
I have always been that person who wants that amazing love story, who has a massive vision for how life is going to be, and who has so many dreams, goals, and desires. Depression tends to try and rip those dreams away from you and make you feel like your life is not as valuable as someone else but why?
Yes, depression is a chemical imbalance and that makes things ridiculously tough, but it does not define you!! It is just something to recognize and work through.
There are so many days that I want to stay in bed and do nothing, so many days I want to sabotage my relationships because depression is constantly whispering in my ear, “I am not good enough, my life is pointless, and who am I to have dreams?” They are all lies that I have allowed myself to believe, and I hate it, which is why I started doing everything I can to change them.
I am just as worthy as everyone else! It took me years of soul-searching and fighting to not let my moods affect me, add being a woman with hormones to my self-doubt too, but I choose to focus on positivity and myself all day, every single day.
These are the steps I took to help with my depression:
Changed my Diet. I stopped eating fast food, which was hard, but it dramatically changed my moods. What we put in our bodies is so critical to our well-being. No one realizes the effects, but once you start focusing on what you eat, the difference is there. I now notice the effects moments after I eat fast food.
Focused on Positivity. This one is hard especially when you are going through a season of depression, because your mind is telling you that the negative feelings feel good in the moment. They feel awful, though, and you are so incredibly torn by what you know you should do and what your mind is telling you to do. Listening to uplifting music and podcasts every time I felt awful helped me to reroute the negative feelings into something positive.
Read Self Development books. I have always been an avid reader, but it was always fiction books and nothing that was ever really nourishing. Once I started reading books that spoke to who I am and who I wanted to be, I noticed a major shift in my mindset. I stopped reading any books that did not nourish my soul. What I was reading was hindering my mindset. I know a lot of people who read fiction and self-development! I am not saying you must stop reading any book besides self-development, but I suggest adding them to your reading list!
Listen to Podcasts. I started doing this before I did anything else. Surprisingly, when you listen to others living their dreams and talking in a way that makes you believe you can achieve yours is also incredibly inspirational. They are an inspiration, and they all thoroughly enjoy what they do. Find your favorite ones and listen to them, then start broadening your horizons to other podcasts, speakers, and books.
Some of my favorites
Lewis Howes School of Greatness
Unf*k Nation with Gary John Bishop (His books are amazing too)
The Ed Mylett Show
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Once you find something you enjoy, you will slowly begin to find that it dramatically changes your life. So go out there, find what you enjoy, and work towards becoming the best version of yourself.
If I can do it, so can you!